Meet Tif.
portrait taken by Katie Perkes.
Tif is a fast friend of many years and countless memories. In addition to all the experiences we have in common, we share many mutual friends, in part because everyone she is introduced to becomes her friend. Tif is a being of keen perception and ready empathy. She is in tune with people around her and her sincere interest in others is palpable. This fascination – this love – she carries for people of every “sort” is found in her searching art, in this inspiring site, and most importantly for all of us who know her, it is found in her abiding friendship.
It would be criminal for her own face to be absent from the site she has labored to create for our benefit, and so I have persuaded her to let me put together an interview.
Enough of my words. Ladies and gentlemen – meet Tiffani Hafen. -BEAU
Your photography displays an eye for people and places that may not have the innate glamour and glitz that many other photographers seek in their subjects – why is that?
We are so blessed to be surrounded, endlessly, by people. And people, by their very nature, are beautiful.Truthfully -and hopefully without offense- I believe glamour and glitz are not real. They are not what makes us beautiful. The light in our eyes, the way being smiled at can change a mood, the power of kindness, the flaws in our personality and on our bodies, the changes we overcome and experience, all of these things make us beautiful; and so much more! So capturing people, while hopefully reflecting some of their truly beautiful nature in a photo, is what I seek. Just capturing the essence of the human being.
As for places. I am overcome, I believe being apart of this world, this life, is a blessing. When I see beautiful flowers, or trees, or mountains, I want to capture them, so as to not forget what I have just witnessed. When I see an incredible building or a beautiful home, I want to capture it, to recognize the great care it took to create. When I see a perfect landscape, with clouds hovering overhead, I am reminded of the great majesty of this world. To reflect on these images brings me joy, it places me back to where I was and inspires with the same state of mind. When we remember that God has given us all of the wonderful, stunning, and delightful things to look at, to smell, to feel, to breathe in, we tend to look at the world with more appreciation, with a brighter perspective. The ability to capture all of that is joyous to me.
Tell us about your start in photography. How have you learned to trust your artistic eye?
I know I would not be where I am today without the trust of those around me. I started out as a “professional” when someone had the faith in me to ask me for portraits of themselves. When someone believed I would be the best option for capturing their wedding when all I had was a point and shoot camera. I wouldn’t say the trust in my artistic eye comes from me. It comes solely from the many who have praised and enjoyed the work I create. The desire that praise brings about – to continue to capture. My “fancy” camera came to me through someones trust and belief in my abilities, as a gift and an “investment in my future.”
I think when I feel nervous or lacking in talent, I remember that people have put their trust in me. They have seen my work, and if they hire me, they believe in me. That tends to be enough.
How do you cope with the uncertainty of creativity in artistic endeavors?
We see ourselves in a far dimmer light than those around us. The only thing that makes us uncertain about ourselves, or the art we create is the comparisons we make. Creativity is not something to fear, to compare against. Creativity is simply the act of creating. We are all creators. It has taken several years for me to have a solid understanding of that. I sometimes fail at remembering it now. But I do not believe uncertainty and creativity can exist together. I do my best to create with all of the certainty I can, and if it is not appreciated, it does not truly and actually matter. What matters is that I have expressed myself in the form of art. It is out there, it is in the world, it can affect someone, someday, somewhere, somehow and it has already affected me.
I do not think anyone can be around you and Joe and fail to notice the strength (and quirks) of your marriage. A lot is said about love and relationships – what are the truly essential things?
Haha. I think we are pretty great, the two of us. Joe is the funniest and most pleasant person I have ever known. I am so fortunate to call him my husband. His quirks, and my quirks, they make us who we are. They set us apart and bring us closer together. Embracing those quirks and playing off them has brought us a lot of joy and laughter! I can’t help but wonder what our friends (or strangers near us) think of those moments.
The truly essential things, well, I believe they are different for every relationship. We all need differently. But some things I have noticed, especially over the past few weeks while pondering this question;
– We are best friends. We always enjoy the opportunity to spend time with our friends, but we are so perfectly content just spending time with each other. We can sit in silence for an entire evening and be perfectly happy about it, because we are near each other. We talk about everything and share everything. We don’t feel the need to have “girls nights” or “guys nights” because we are each others best friend.
–Joe never lets me go. Sometimes I can be a real brat and when we are walking hand in hand, I try to let go because I am upset about something. Joe realizes what I am doing and he holds on tighter.
–We say “I Love You” a lot. I have heard a lot of people say that the over-use of those three words is not good, it makes the meaning less genuine. Perhaps for some, but not for us. Sometimes we just say it to say it. But there is truly nothing like hearing those three words from the person you love more than anything or anyone. No matter when or where.
–We accept each others faults. You can’t spend your time trying to change the person you are with. You will run out of time to just love.
–We are 100% ourselves. Honestly, we are ourselves completely with each other. We always have been. There is no better foundation for ANY relationship then pure honesty. So all of those quirks and silliness, those are just really us. There have been times when I have felt embarrassed for something and Joe always says “Why are you embarrassed? You are my wife, I’m your husband.” We tease each other a lot, but when something is serious, we just embrace each other. (figuratively and literally)
– Joe apologizes for things he doesn’t need to apologize for. He is quick to say sorry even when it is me that should say it. He is a lot better of a person than I am. Saying sorry is really really important and he has it down.
What brings you bliss?
Ultimately, bliss carries the meaning of perfect happiness. There are a lot of things that bring me bliss. Moments of happiness that feel perfect. But here are some things off the top of my head, interactions with children, my relationship with Joe, really really good music (especially when I am witnessing it in concert, live.) being encompassed by nature, family, and all of my wonderful friends. and knowing that I have a Savior and a God who both love me, so much. Perfect happiness is totally reachable. I think we always hope for better, want more, crave it all. But if we just look around us, or feel around us, or be still, we will find that happiness is just waiting for us to notice it.
You have known dark times – what do you say to those who are in despair today?
It is weird to look back on those terrible times and see how far I have come. We all experience darkness and despair, in different ways, but we all do. We all have that rocky terrible road to get past (more than once in our lives, too.) I think once we rely on someone for help, that burden gets lighter. I put all of my weight on God and Jesus Christ, I prayed a lot. I felt with my prayers each rock was moved, I was able to step forward a bit, and the more reliance, the more clear my path became. I think, even if you are not religious, if you have the faith to rely on your friends or your family, to just help you carry a bit of what you are struggling with, you will get through it with more ease. More resilient. More powerful. And your relationships will be stronger than they have ever been. You will find most people (the ones who are close) would do anything to help you out, and it means a LOT to them that you have shared your load.
You are open and public about your religious and spiritual beliefs – what makes you so bold?
I never want to shy away from sharing something that has brought me joy and solace. I feel like that would be awfully selfish of me. I think believing in ANYTHING is good. It gives us hope, it helps us move forward. It gives us purpose. I hope with all of my heart, that the something we choose to believe in drives us to be compassionate, kind, and decent human beings. For me, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has done just that. I think I am pretty decent most of the time. I would feel utterly lost without the direction and purpose it has given me. To deny the goodness and the many times I have felt powers from beyond, would be wrong. So share it, stand up for it, happily and proudly believe in it, I must!
And lastly, What has One Portrait of Us brought to you? Are you happy with how it has grown?
One Portrait of Us has brought me the ability to know people a little more, to ask questions I have wanted to ask, to fill my soul up with the goodness of those around us. It has brought me all of the things I have so desperately wanted it to bring you, the readers. Just a piece of people. The good in people. The light in people. I just want people to know how lovely the world can be. Because it is, it is so lovely if you let it be.
I am happy with its growth. But there is so much more I hope to do with it and hope it will do for you. In order to do those things I need more readers, more people who are interested in discussion, and more opportunities to feature people who are living further than the boundaries of Utah. I want people featured who live in other states, countries, continents, who believe in different Gods, who are different races, who have completely different ways of being. I want to show that there is good in even what we deem as “the worst” of places. I want us to be uplifted and edified by the world. Eventually, I hope it becomes a habitual read to my followers, and a sharing experience. And not too far off, I will be asking for contributors from around the world. The site will get a face lift, and it will be more about US. I am really really excited about all of the great things that lie ahead for One Portrait of Us and really cannot thank you enough for allowing your hearts and minds to be vulnerable enough to feel because of it.
Can I say something about Tif? Okay, Tif has the most contagious smile. And, like her photography, it’s not a posed, school picture day type of smile. It’s real. It’s happy. I love how I can look at a photo of just Tif’s eyes, and can tell that she’s just beaming. Tif is a good, smiley human.
You’re the sweetest Katie. I appreciate you. I feel like everything you do brings joy to those around you. You’re just delightful.
Yay! I’m so glad Beau did this!!! Tif, you are the greatest. THE greatest! I love that no matter how long it’s been, we always pick right back up where we left off. I’m so excited to see your little project grow even more! Don’t stop! The world needs more goodness and you’ve created a place where we can see it in each other. Thank you, truly!
Tif, you are so passionate and articulate. Every time I read something you’ve written (or said) it moves me. I just love you.
I LOVE YOU.
Tif – You have a beautiful soul. I am so glad to know you. Thanks for sharing a part of you.
I love you Susan! Thank you for being such an avid reader of this site, and for being such a great part of my life.
Tif, thank you for your genuine, good, glowing soul. You make me happy!
Tif is the kind of person who after talking to for 10 minutes, makes you feel you have been friends for 10 years. The best part about it is she isn’t just seeming that way, she really is that nice.
CJ,
thank you. I think you’re the best. One of the greatest people I know. I feel fortunate to call you my friend.
Tif your words are so inspiring and beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re lovely. And I love you so much!