Meet Sam.
He is quick to offset his imposing presence, that perhaps comes as a last vestige of different time in his life , with a genuinely cordial nature and humble disposition. He has the keen perception of an artist and the ready smile of some who has learned through years of hard knocks to find the humor in life. He is a writer, a filmmaker, grip, actor, DP, and all around cinephile. Meet Sam.
You’ve studied and worked on film – what drew you to film as a medium? What aspect interests you most?
As silly as it sounds, my biggest influence and one of the main reasons I got into film is Godzilla. I have always loved the monster and it has fueled my imagination the second I saw it unleash its destruction on the inhabitants of Japan. There is just something about Godzilla that consistently fuels my imagination. Maybe because I saw it at such a young age and it left some sort of impression permanently left in my brain, I don’t know. Because looking at Godzilla objectively, it is pretty lame. A guy in a rubber lizard costume that smashes model cities and slams against other guys in rubber costumes. However, there is something magical about it to me. The way it is so obviously fake, yet it is played so serious. Those actors really believe there is a 350ft fire breathing monster coming their way. It is not self referential at all. No tongue in cheek. No winking at the audience. It is completely serious. When my well runs dry, I always come back to the deep waters of Godzilla.
My love of Godzilla really narrowed down why I love the medium, how all these elements; writing, acting, lighting, production design, sound, etc., come together like an orchestra to create a single piece of art and can invoke feelings and responses from a person whether positive or negative. I love that. Even little things I wrote and shot have made people happy, sad or angry. In some ways, it is a huge rush.
I think the aspect that interests me the most is writing. I have always loved to write. Something I learned from my sister from when I was a little kid. Writing for film is incredible, more so than novels or poetry. To come up with stories, characters and a world is one thing, but to have it brought to life by actors and set designers takes it to a whole new level.
Even though I love writing, I also like doing the nitty-gritty production work. I love being on set and doing Grip work. Grips work with the camera department by providing camera support. Like mounting the camera to dollys, cranes and what not. It is really hands on type of work that I enjoy.
What artists (or films) have inspired you? Why?
The movie Young Guns, which on its own is not an amazing film, was another big inspiration because of a character and what that character represented. In the film, Lou Diamond Phillips plays a Navajo Mexican half breed named Chavez y Chavez. What was inspiring about his portrayal was that it was the first character I saw in a movie or TV show that was what I was, a bi-racial person of exactly the same mix as me. Growing up poor, Mexican and Native American, you don’t see yourself represented in a lot of media and when a character is close to what you are, you feel a connection. I was drawn to this character.
Director Sam Peckinpah was the first director whose movies really resonated with me. He directed movies like Junior Bonner, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid and, my personal favorite, The Wild Bunch. Not only are his films just excellent examples of film making, but they all have the running theme of the transitioning of one era to the next. A lot of the time it focuses on the end of the West. In the Wild Bunch, a group of aging bank robbers flee to Mexico as their way of life is dying. There is no room for bank robbers in modern day America. His characters are always losers who try to do the right thing, but who always end up sacrificing parts of themselves as they enter into worlds of brutality and violence. This is a theme that has always fascinated me. This transition from one era to the next. I guess because I would see it growing up Native American. Traditions and language becoming distant memories. The old world dies to make room for the new one.
The other artist that inspired me is the actor Danny Trejo. Like the character of Chavez y Chavez, Danny Trejo inspired me because he is a representation of, how no matter what your background is, you can succeed in this industry (film). When I was younger, I joined a gang and was heavily involved with them for many years. I almost resigned myself to a life either cut short by violence and drugs, or prison. After realizing this was not the life for me, I left the gang life and felt lost. I knew I wanted to get into film, but thought it was no more than a day dream. I worked a lot of laborer jobs, never feeling fulfilled. I then read an article about tough guy Danny Trejo and his background. It filled me with hope. He was involved with gangs as a youth an was hooked on drugs and even served many years in prison for robbery. Once out, he vowed he would never return to that life and fell into the world of movie making. Not only was he Mexican like I was, but he came from a similar background. Danny Trejo rose above it and made a living in film. I knew if he could do it, I could do it.
It may not be a specific movie, but I would have to say that Korean films have had a huge influence on me not only as an individual, but as an artist. Korean films are not only technically amazing, the cinematography, the stories, the acting, etc, but what I love about them is their tone. The atmosphere that Korean films bring is unprecedented by almost anything that American movies do. They have this darkness to them that I’m drawn to. They show the side of humanity that I believe American films haven’t had since the late 60s to late 70s. Korean films are not afraid of showing humans in an imperfect light, like The Show Must Go on which is about a Korean mobster who juggles his life as a gangster and a family man. The violence, fear, humility and humor that make a person who they are. One movie I love is a monster movie called The Host. It is likened as the Korean Jaws. A monster comes from the river and attacks the town. In the process it steals a simple food vendors daughter. The food vendor and his horribly dysfunctional family band together to get the daughter back. It is incredible. It encapsulates a lot of my love for this cinema. The characters are not beautiful superheroes who can solve a problem perfectly and look flawless while doing it. They are flawed, ugly and scared. Endings are usually not happy. The hero usually fails and the world keeps going. Never acknowledging their existence. This resonates with me because growing up as a poor colored kid, I didn’t view America the same. The American dream was something that, at the time, was not in my grasp and this has been ingrained in my brain since I was little. Even though now I know that I can achieve something greater than my self, a part of me still thinks it won’t happen.
How has your childhood shaped the person you are today?
I’m half Navajo and half Mexican. Grew up very poor. I was also in gang for about a decade. These are three aspects of my life that have definitely shaped the way I view the world. Being of mixed race is interesting to grow up. I always felt like I never belonged to either culture. There would always be some smart ass who would try to tell me I wasn’t Mexican enough or Native enough. This lead to fights. I didn’t like being disrespected. Probably because growing up mixed and poor, I didn’t get any respect, so I took whatever I could get. My father left us when I was nine and around eleven, my mom did the same. My brother and I were on our own. It was just my brother and I with no parental figures. No real love or support.
When I was fourteen I joined a Mexican gang because they gave me things I craved that I didn’t get from my home life, a sense of family, respect and the staples of life. I was committed to this life because I owed the gang everything. After years of drugs, crime and violence, I started seeing the cracks in this life. I woke up. I realized that my life was worth more than a color and a number and I left. All of these experiences I use when I write and channel into films. By being apart of this gang I’ve met people that society has deemed unsuitable and found the sadness and joy they have to offer.
This life I have lived has definitely shaped me. It made me realize that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Prostitutes who sold their bodies on the corner and witnessed the worse men could do always cited God as the reason they kept going. Junkies just looking for their next score and would beg you for money with a smile on their face. The thugs and murderers who I called homies, who would remember to give me a present on my birthday. They are people. This has allowed me to realize that no matter what a person looks like, it is through their actions and what makes them tick is how they can be judged.
What is something you don’t miss?
This may sound odd, but what I don’t miss about growing up is also something I do. In a lot of ways, I don’t miss the gang life. The violence, the drugs and all the problems that come with it. I am mature enough to realize how crazy it is. I don’t miss getting jumped. I don’t miss having to self medicate to cope with the insanity of the life. I don’t miss swimming in a world of constant machismo where showing any amount of emotion was a sign of weakness. I can look back and see how detrimental this lifestyle was.
Although, for as terrible as it could be, there are days I miss it. There was a brutal simplicity to it. It was almost a “law of the jungle” life. The biggest and the strongest survive and you know your place. I knew where I stood at all times with the gang and outside of it. The rules were more cut and dry; you wear a certain color, you don’t go into certain neighborhoods, etc. It was easier.
I joke with my wife that living as a functioning and contributing member of society is a giant pain. I always figured I would have been dead by the age of eighteen and never planned beyond that. So when I hit my early twenties, I knew something had to change. Being alive and being a husband, going to school and trying to find work is scary. There a lot of days when I get overwhelmed. I know going back to that lifestyle is never an option, but there are times when I wish I could.
What is the wisest thing anyone has ever told you?
My dad, before he left, once told me that one of the best things I could do when I work is keep my head down, work hard and don’t be an asshole. This is probably the best advice I’ve ever received and has served me well, especially when working in the film industry. As much as I love working in film, a lot of getting work is not on merit, but who you know. In some ways, it is frustrating. You can be the best at something; cinematography, writing, gripping, etc, but if you don’t have the contacts, it is difficult to get in. Then when you do get in, you have to prove yourself.
The advice that my dad gave me proved invaluable. Keeping my head down is when I get on set, I listen and do what I’m told. These people have worked for a while in the industry and I don’t discount what they have to say. Even if I know they are wrong, I just do it the way they want it to be done and move on. Lessons are everywhere if you choose to see them.
Work hard is pretty self explanatory. When I get a job, I do it to the best of my ability. Whether it is directing my own films, writing something for myself or a paid gig, or even being a PA on set getting people water, I do it the best I can. That way I know that I did my job and no one can take that away from me.
Finally, and this should be obvious, just don’t be an asshole. This is something that is key that a lot of people forget. As I said, this industry is a lot of who you know and most of the jobs that I have gotten is because people I have worked with recommended me for that job. I know that if I would have gotten on set and acted like a know-it-all because I went to film school, I would probably not have got any more work. Always be grateful and willingly to help out. Put it in the extra time and genuinely care about people. Even if I may not be the best at some job, I have got the gig over others because I was more pleasant to be around. This is an aspect I feel isn’t taught in school and definitely should. It has been key in my success and I would not have gotten as far as I have.
What do you disagree with society about?
Where do I begin? Don’t get me wrong, our society has many wonderful aspects and I am glad I live here, but it is far from perfect. For starters, the open and rampant racism and misogyny that is in our society. It just breaks my heart because it feels like we should be past this. Come on folks, it’s 2015, yet the hate is not only still here, but openly tolerated. There are still sports teams with offensive stereotypes. People of color are being victimized daily, yet society tells us to “get over it” or “it’s all in our heads.” Women who voice their opinions, concerns or criticisms on any given subject and when not being out right dismissed are being threatened with acts of violence. A prison industrial complex that thrives and makes a profit on failing to rehabilitate the inmates in the hopes they break the law again and return. A government that thinks policing the world is in our best interests while our education system is completely broken and underfunded. It is going to be a long road and it will definitely get worse before it gets better, but I think it will change for the best one day.
I loved this interview with my son in law, Sam. the questions were good, getting Sam to open up – in itself a feat! Sam is such an amazing man – I am so glad the world can get to know him, and others on this site, better.
Laurie,
Thank you so much for reading Sam’s interview! He is an incredible man, I’m grateful we were so fortunate to have him take some time for us. 🙂