Brittney is an infertility survivor and mother of two adorable boys. She is the wife of a rock-star, literally, and has a whole room in her house just for instruments. She works at VitalSmarts as a Marketing Product Manager and in her free time she is restoring her 1963 mid-century home, with her bare hands. She also firmly believes remodeling is a form of masochism. She loves to travel, cook, eat, drink Diet Dr. Pepper, and spend as much time as possible with her family.

How has overcoming infertility brought more joy to motherhood?

I know every parent loves their children fiercely and that those who didn’t experience infertility would resent a statement like, “I love my children more because I fought so hard for them.” However, I can’t help but think that statement is true, at least for me.

The moment I held my baby for the first time was the culmination of more than just 9 months of waiting and wondering who this little person would be. It was 4+ years of what felt like slogging through some pretty hellish experiences and constant questioning along the way as to whether or not I had the emotional and spiritual strength to continue. It was persisting through physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual trial without any assurance that that moment would actually occur. It was my hardest trial to date and one that cut me to the core. So, when I finally got to hold my baby in my arms, it’s hard to describe the feelings I felt. It was more than overwhelming joy and love. It was relief, spiritual solace, and pure triumph that our efforts were worth it and our prayers were heard. Had I not experienced infertility, I know I would have still had overwhelming feelings of joy and love, but I think I would not have also felt the deep and intense gratitude that I felt for what was truly a miracle.

And beyond just being immensely grateful to get to experience motherhood, I feel that infertility helped me become more patient and a bit more resilient with what is actually a hard job. Turns out it’s true what they say: motherhood is hard work. And even though during the infertile years, I would have wanted to punch someone for saying that to me (too harsh?), I do appreciate the added measure of gratitude I have for the job. Often, it gets me through the long nights and moments of exasperation I’ve felt while parenting a very spirited toddler.

Infertility was my greatest test of patience and motherhood will be my second greatest test of patience. Now, looking back, I am grateful for the former because I believe it will make me better at the latter.

What does it mean to truly love someone?

Love is service and service is an act of doing. I don’t believe love is passive. You have to be willing to put others’ needs before your own and actually get up and do – for others. In my life, love is being the other person’s cheerleader. It’s being on the same team. And it’s being kind. Honestly, I haven’t always been the picture of love and I haven’t necessarily learned these things from doing them. Rather, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who have loved me in these ways and have taught me a lot in the process.

If you only had 5 things to teach your children, what would those 5 things be?

1) They are a child of God. They are the sons of a loving Heavenly Father who has created them and this beautiful earth, and gave them a Savior who has made it possible for them to live a happy life with their family for eternity. Any time they are sad, lonely, or in need, they can turn to their Heavenly Father for help, comfort, and guidance.
2) Work. Those who know how to work have the tools to be successful. There is no substitute for getting our hands dirty and working hard to create or make things happen. There are also no shortcuts in life – so get to work.
3) Things will work out. This is something that I learned from my own parents and actually references #2, but if you are living your life right and working hard, things usually work out in the end. Have faith and go to work.
4) Be kind and be pleasant. Kindness opens doors. It is what it means to be Christian. Everyone could use a friend and you never know what others are going through. And, even if things aren’t going your way—being pleasant goes a long way.
5) Always see the potential in yourself and others. You are smart, capable, and confident – test your skills, learn new things, and see what you can accomplish. Find joy in learning and let yourself make mistakes with the knowledge that mistakes don’t have to define you but can be for your learning and benefit. Realize that others have this same opportunity as you.

You exude beauty, the full essence of the word. Tell us a bit about what the word beautiful means to you.

That is too kind – thank you. I actually firmly believe that beauty is confidence. I see beautiful men and women as those who are also confident in who they are. Those who are less concerned by what others think of them and are self-assured in what they believe and feel about themselves exude a sense of beauty.

I guess I am fairly confident because I believe my parents instilled that confidence in me by teaching me that I could do and accomplish difficult things. While I do have “girlish notions” like anyone else, I am at a point in my life where I care less and less about what others perceive of my appearance and am more concerned with how I feel on the inside and outside. I aspire to be healthy, I enjoy exercising, and I like to look nice – just like anyone else. But more than that, I feel confident in who I am – which is a nice thing to feel.

How has music influenced your life?

In my life, music has been a great teacher, comforter, and unifying force. I grew up in a home where I was surrounded by music. My Dad may be the world’s greatest appreciator of music – all kinds. We cleaned the house to the William Tell Overture, listened to Elton John, Abba, and Queen on long road trips, blasted the MoTab and Pavarotti from our surround system on Sundays, and sang our hearts out to the Les Miserables and The Phantom soundtracks for fun. While we didn’t have a lot of money growing up we still somehow had a state-of-the-art sound system. It was THAT important. There was a soundtrack for every event and every emotion – and I still feel that way about life, mostly.

Early on, I was drawn to music from the 60s and 70s, maybe because that was what my dad liked best too? I remember turning off the lights in my basement and laying on the couch and having some weird transcendental experience to Simon and Garfunkel – oh you know, when I was like 10. It was a monumental occasion when my Dad took me to purchase my first CD and on my 12th birthday and I picked out Queen’s Greatest Hits. I lived a happy Beatlemania moment in the late 90s when the Beatles Anthology came out, and I opted to skip a school dance in favor of seeing STYX live.

When I was five, I asked my mom if I could take piano lessons and was quickly drawn into the instrument. Turns out, I didn’t completely lack talent or work ethic, and studied classical piano fairly intensely up through my senior year of High School. As a pianist, I learned to work hard, be disciplined, pay attention to detail, find real beauty in the sense of expression, and take criticism. I attribute a lot of my greatest lessons learned to music.

So, with this as my foundation, it’s no surprise I married a musician. I adore music in my home and have built a life on making, creating, and loving music. I don’t understand what a life without music would even look like.

When your kids leave home, how do you hope they speak of you? What do you want them to tell their friends about their mom?

I really hope my kids remember me as a fun, involved mom. This is actually hard for me to do because I am a busy body (workaholic) and sometimes have a hard time seeing anything other than my to-do list. I hope I learn to trade some of those mundane tasks for happy, fun, spontaneous moments with my boys. I hope they see that while work, organization, cleanliness, and money are important, these things will never be more important than them.

I hope they also know I have a testimony of the gospel, that I love their father, and that I will always try do what is right. I suppose the greatest honor for a mother of sons would be if they went looking for a wife someday with some of my qualities – I hope that’s not too presumptuous to say.

You seem to have a lot of faith, faith in the people around you, and in God. What has brought on this strength? Have you always had so much faith?
Well, yes. We all have different spiritual gifts and I’ve come to realize that one of mine is faith. I have always had faith that the gospel is true and I have never questioned it or even had the desire to question it. Nothing I hear, see, or do can or has shaken that faith in my testimony. I am grateful for that because I didn’t realize it was rare, but after meeting people and hearing their experiences, and seeing some of the spiritual unrest in the world around me, I am grateful this is something that comes naturally to me.

I do have faith in the people around me because I know their hearts and I see goodness. I sometimes tease my husband and tell him I married him for his potential, and while he sort of hates that joke (so don’t tell him I wrote it here), it is true at its core. I believe that of all people. I believe we all have a great potential and it takes life experiences and our choices to bring it out in us. I know my family and friends around me are the kind of people that will rise to that potential.